launching my new business
or, all the little fears of a confident woman.
I think anybody who ever met me would describe me as confident. As a general resume.
Depending on who you ask you will probably also hear some of these adjectives:
- Easy to talk to/outgoing vs. “Daaamn, is she chatty!”
- Friendly, smiley vs. “Easy-to-excite? Taken by the crazy, if you ask me!”
- Energetic vs restless, like: “Relax girl!” [I hate when someone tells me to relax!]
- Honest or blunt
- Enterprising or work-obsessed
- Headstrong and expressive or ‘cloaked in thunder’
- Determined or ‘like a dog with a bone’
I kind of wish at this point that this was a podcast and I had this talk with friends, so you would hear how much they would agree.
And yes, these words up there have positive and negative connotations, but I like them all because I am someone who likes contrasts. These words are two sides of a medal - my medal. And I like the word confident too (who doesn’t?!) because it is an overall good, fairly neutral resume of my strongest traits without sounding ‘full of myself’.
But here is the thing:
going with this ‘confident file’ is a much more confidential file:
The one file describing me on the days I don’t feel confident. Cause we all have bad days, right?!
Days where your weak points, your insecurities take over… right?!
So even though I love my strong side, I also sometimes hate her. For if she wasn’t as pronounced as she is, her doubting, insecure little twin would not be as distinct either.
You know, the old logic of: “the brighter the light, the darker the shadows”.
So let me give you an example of my latest and biggest dilemma:
For the past year, I have been working on a series of products that evolve all around the topic of ‘Opulent Minimalism’ (I am so happy I found this expressive term) - I will tell you all the details about it soon - promise.
The initial, core products are great. There is nothing like it on the market yet. There is room for ‘spin-offs’ to dive into neighboring markets and different price classes. I am sooo close to finishing prototyping and these products will be a bit like me: love it or hate it - but that’s OK.
I have had 35 years practice of dealing with polar opinions.
So all in all: my products get me excited and I am confident that there is a (big) market for it.
I can launch now!
I have heeded the advice of wiser men and women. I planned a hierarchy for all business activities. I decided on a business structure. I even started to gather a flock of people around me on social media by posting pictures of interiors that go exactly down my route.
The hardest part is over. All I need to do is to present.
GO, Nicole! Present!
Present, gosh darn it!
Why, the h***, am I not launching?
Tell me little Miss oh-so-Confident, why are you sitting in the corner, biting your nails and letting the other twin reign your creative kingdom?
Because I am a realist.
And realists know they could be wrong. There are tons of dangers and pitfalls: financial risks, idea theft (and they will have the means to produce quicker, cheaper…), the possibility of being completely in and over my head with the complexity of running a product based business….
What is this? Fear of failure? Fear of success? Both?
So I am sitting here, telling myself I need one last confirmation. I will go to a startup weekend, test my plan and have it checked by experts. After Easter, I will launch.
But honestly, until a few moments ago I was not sure if I truly meant it, or if it was just another procrastination technique.
But then this quote came flying into my mailbox and it hit me where it hurts most:
A DEFINITION OF HELL:
is your last day on earth.
The day when the person you became in life,
meets the person you could have become
if you’d fully believed in yourself!"
I guess this the moment when one fear kicks another fears butt.
So let me NOW tell you confidently:
I will launch my new, product-based business in April! You have my word!
If you are interested about what I have been breading in my creative office and would like to stay tuned about my future business: I'd be thrilled if you subscribe to my newsletter!
I even throw in this 'definition of hell' as a printable if you like.
But careful, if you do download this print, I’ll know that our souls have at least one thing in common…. Oh, and I might call you friend from here on forward! *be warned